humor

"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "

Smile When You Say That
Well, it’s happened to me again, and I still don’t understand it. This time, I was in the bakery of my local supermarket, scanning the doughnuts, when suddenly view was cut off by a squat, bald man who had been talking to another woman. I moved aside and continued my sugar selection, when I heard a squat, bald voice say, “Smile. It can’t be all that bad.”
By Roberta Carly Redford6 years ago in Humans
The Midnight Snack
The Midnight Snack. My fingers tremble as I type I can scarcely believe a woman of my intelligence could find herself in this position. It is the seventh night in which my conscience robs me of peace. The bed sheets are knotted and damp with sweet perspiration. Instead of counting sheep I am counting wolves. A pack of wolves hot on the heel of their prey and it is me that they are hunting. Then I feel the warm breath on the back of my neck and it is then that I fall back down into my body deprived of sleeps sweet lullaby.
By Belladonna Eve Lamorte6 years ago in Humans
How to Respond to Creepy DMs Like a Boss
Over the years, I have cultivated six methods for clapping back at slimy DM crawlers. You can do it, too! I'll share the techniques along with some amusing samples below.
By Toni Tails6 years ago in Humans
My Life Needs No Embellishments
So, one night I was staying up late watching the remake of the Nightmare on Elm Street. I’ve never seen the remake, but I love the original movie so much (not the sequels) and decided to give it a chance.
By Mae McCreery6 years ago in Humans
Quarantine Queen
1. You have yet to step out of your house in anything but slides. Step out of your Louis Boutons and into your slip on's. Comfort is key when it comes to keeping it cool this summer. You know how to rock any shoe with your capsule wardrobe and that doesn't exclude a one step - low key slipper.
By Ellie Fowler6 years ago in Humans
Captain Oh Yeah
I was wearing my black, collared, slick, long sleeve shirt that I had just bought from the Gap to show it off on that particular Friday evening.  It made my beer gut look like it was gone (you know how wearing the color black makes chunky people look a little thinner), and it gave me this mysterious panther-like look while all the silver rings I was wearing on my lanky fingers embellished the blackness of this awesome shirt. This particular shirt was a huge girl magnet too. By far, it was my favorite shirt for a long time.
By Bazooka Teaches6 years ago in Humans
The Wipe
I was out with my girlfriend at a bar in Hollywood drinking and celebrating. It was a “whatever” night for us to celebrate that night. Suddenly, I had the urge to take a number-two (yes a big ol’ dump), and I really didn’t want to do it because pinching a loaf at a public place, especially a bar, is just embarrassing. However, this loaf was coming out like a bat out of Hell.
By Bazooka Teaches6 years ago in Humans
HE WANTS MY SHOES
So, this is me, and the shoes I have had them since 2013. What's so special about them? Well since I got these ugly blue babies, winter for me has been bliss. As you can see, I am shovelling snow happily, no complaints right. You might be wondering what's so special about these loads of people have them/ well for me it created comfort during winter. For someone who was not born in a cold country, I think you might say oh, yeah you need them. I wear these even when wearing a classy dress, to the most formal events then I switch to regular shoes, to work also but at the door, I switch. I never leave home without them. I like them, and they came quite pricy for me $.
By JASMIN P6 years ago in Humans
Coming or Going
i WOULDNT say I saw it coming becaus I never did. I’ve always had good relationships with the dudes I messed with, I wouldn’t call them EXCEPTIONAL OR TYPICAL, but I was in love and I was happy in my eyes so i was Me! I know I treat my man the way he deserves. So I get treated equally good. But yet this one guy came in and After that, shit will nevva be the same...
By FairyTailDora6 years ago in Humans
The Scarf
It was nearing prom season in my last year of high school, I had made some friends but had yet to meet someone I’d want to date. I’d go visit my Mom at her new place every so often, she told me that I really should be thinking about getting a date for prom. Even when I told her that most of my friend group didn’t have dates, her advice stood firm that going sans date wasn’t fun, I’d regret it, and they’d all be sorry, trust me! So I went and hunted down a boyfriend, through one of my good school friends. Was I attracted to him? Not in the least. Did I now get to tell my Mom I had a prom date? Sure did. He was quite patient with me, given that I was vastly and deeply emotionally constipated especially at that time. I liked the company and he was kind enough, along with agreeing to be my prom date. It was nice having a friend to sleep next to, key word “friend.”I don’t think he caught on to the red flags that I clearly brought to the table, the main one being that I held my breath when we made out. There was just so much saliva and I could not understand why, but I had nothing to compare it to so for a while I assumed that this is just what all kissing must be like. I think something I believed to be a major drawback was how he ate popcorn, it ruined all of our relationship potential in my mind.
By Camille Cote6 years ago in Humans
The Bitter Taste of Deceit
The Bitter Taste of Deceit “Are you sure you can cook an authentic teishoku meal?” Maggie looked at me with a doubtful expression.
By Phillip Merrill6 years ago in Humans
The SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN way to attract a partner. Top Story - May 2020.
Like many in my generation, I am single. Alone, all alone with nobody to love, hold, argue with, take cute pictures with or go on holiday with.
By Hyper Homo6 years ago in Humans