grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
Fear
When you fear something you gain appreciation over something else. It’s a given. If you fear death you appreciate life in some small way in the least. If you fear losing someone, you do everything you can to keep them because you start to appreciate some form of having them. Or if you don’t or can’t do everything you can to keep them you at least admire the small things about them, the things you are afraid to lose.
By Ashley Mattei5 years ago in Families
Finding the Truth
The very last door I opened was the bathroom, and what I had found once that door was opened, I couldn't believe. My mother was standing there with a small , short metal pipe in her hand and she had a lighter up to it. She was smoking something... I was around 15 years old and I had just walked in on my mother smoking crack/cocaine. The look on her face surprised me. It wasn't so much a look of guilt or shame. The expression on her face read was cool, calm, and relaxed. I can guarantee you that the look on my face was merely shock , disappointment, and humiliation. In that moment everything had changed . My whole life had turned upside down inside out, and my heart had been ripped from my chest. I was rendered speechless. the thoughts in my head were infinite. I thought about everything in that moment. I thought about the life we used to have, so happy and full of love. I thought about the future. What was going to happen to us, all of us, my sisters, my parents, all of the needs and wants of a typical, American family. How was this going to work. Is this a dream? Just basically, what is this going to do to my family, our family. After we had constant eye contact for around a minute or so, (which felt like a lifetime) , there was a small break in the silence when she had finally decided to let out a justifying plea. But I walked away unsure of what I was going to say. I don't think that I even got to the end of the hallway when she yelled "Malinda, come here". I dreaded every minute of that walk, down that long narrow hallway and into the bathroom. Once I had entered the room she told me to sit down on the toilet, and so I did. She initiated a conversation about what I had just seen. The thing is, this wasn't the conversation I was expecting. What happened next still haunts me to this day. She told me that I had walked in on her smoking crack. But also asked me if I wanted to try it myself. I looked at her in shock. All I was thinking is, this had to be a trick she just wants to see if I'm going to say yes and if I do, I'm going to get into a whole mess of trouble. So I replied "Mom are you serious? You are really asking me if I want to smoke drugs with you"? I didn't understand how this was just okay to her, like it was just another day nothing out of the ordinary . My stomach was in knots and my head was still racing, but I finally mustered up the words to ask why she was wanting me to do this with her, and if it would hurt me if I decided to go thru with it. Then with a chuckle in her voice she said" no its not going to hurt you". Then she continued to explain to me that she wanted me to do this with her for the firs time, so that if anything were to happen to me I would be right there with her. Not with some friends or random people. I was going to be safe her with her. Then she proceeded to admit that her and my dad had been doing this for a while . Ever since my step siblings were taken from my father. Mom told me that what had happened with my siblings had really taken a toll on Dad. She said he was up for hours every night, crying so hard that he couldn't sleep. He had lost the drive that he once had. She told me that the days were becoming unbearable for him, losing his other kids cut like a knife. So he had talked to a friend that knew what he was going thru, and could tell that he was hurting. This so-called friend had introduced my dad to crack/cocaine. The first time he used it started the beginning of my families demise, and loss of any and all hope for an extremely bright future that we all carried the potential of having. Now everything started to make since. This is why we never see them anymore. This is why dads never home and moms locking herself in her bedroom all day. This is the reason the vacations stopped and family time was a thing of the past. So what now? How long will this last? When will we have our parents back? What does the future hold? Is there any way that a 15 year old girl can come up with a solution to a problem this big? Will my family survive this nightmare?
By Malinda Bobb5 years ago in Families
Finding the Silver Lining
I remember when one of my biggest fears was losing my parents. I was so attached to them; at times they were my world. I felt that if they died, I would fall apart and not be able to survive on my own. I knew death was inevitable. After all, none of us will make it out of this lifetime alive. And yet, death of a loved one seemed so incredibly foreign to me. It was as if death and dying only happened to others; it did NOT dare happened to me...Until one day, it did.
By lisa speranzo5 years ago in Families
Life Forward
Standing at the kitchen counter, the makings for a sandwich lying out in front of him, Nicholas begins to think about his mom. Although it’s been nearly a year since the accident took her away from him, he still can’t believe that she’s gone. It happened so fast. She was taking him to school, then a week later he was moving across the country to live with his aunt. Luckily, an aunt that always treated him like a son. He guesses it's because she had a son that died, a fact that makes her very overprotective at times. Lately, she has started to let him be more independent though. This will actually be the first time that he gets to make himself lunch.
By Rodney Guy5 years ago in Families
The Daily Struggle of Survival After Losing Your Child to a Tragedy
Every morning as I lay in my bed (for an hour or two) next to my three year old (waiting for him to wake up) I realize that I now exist between the realm of the living and the dead. I stare at the picture of my deceased son next to my bed and wonder if he sees me wake up. I begin to cry realizing that I wont see him again today. I toss and turn waiting for the smile of the little boy next to me, followed by his demands for either food, tv, or play. And it's at that moment that I am back into the realm of the living. Visually alive but somewhat dead inside. Let me take you to the morning my world split into two realities.
By Azaris Morales5 years ago in Families
Being the cousin of a Psychopath addict
My cousin is an addict, has been for as long as I can remember. He has been in and out of jails and rehabs since at least I've been in middle school. He has also gone to school ran by the army or some branch of the armed forces. He is an admitted psychopath with sociopath tendencies. He has used and stolen from most of my family. I will be calling the family my family because I do not consider him my cousin any more.
By Lena Bailey5 years ago in Families
My Sister’s Monster
Irish twins. Or, more accurately, Chippewa twins. My sister and I. Josie. March 6 1990 & May 22 1988. Respectively. Big brother, little sister. And for 77 days a year we are outwardly closer in age than we appear. My parents got pregnant with me. Then split up. Then got back together. Then got pregnant with Josie. Then split up. For good.
By James Sueling5 years ago in Families
Inspired by My Twin Sister's Legacy
My name is LaDoya Jenkins. My twin sister and I are the oldest of five girls. we were born and raised in Clarksdale, Missississippi. During our later teen to early adult years, we later moved out of Mississippi for a better quality of life. We were raised in extreme poverty. The small town we grew up in was very unique. The main reason why because people in the community were very close to each other and caring about one another. The neighbors looked out for each other's kids. My family was well known in this community because our family was very hard working. They worked as grocery store clerks and in customer service etc. One of my aunt's name Leatha worked at a bakery that was well known for good customer service and the doughnuts were delicous. Poverty was a huge struggle in this part of the community. It was so bad until when my family worked it seemed to put us a step backward. We never seemed to have enough basic supplies such as food. There were times my sister and my cousins would knock on neighbors' doors and ask for food. The neighbors were so nice and showed us a lot of love and support. They would go into their freezers and give my sisters, cousins and I food. The food would be already cooked and frozen. Sometimes it would be fresh cooked left overs from their evening supper. Growing up in Misssissppi people showed each other alot of love and support. There were families that lived in certain parts of my community that shared with the less fortunate families. This was great. These families were privileged. Our household was very strict with a strong religous values and faith- filled foundation. My sisters and I were taught to ask if we needed anything. We were raised with strong morals and values. My family took us to church every Sunday. I later understood why they were so strict as I grew older in life. They were teaching us to grow up and show love to each other and to others in society who were sometimes looked, or were different than us. Respect for God and ourselves and others were taught, my family taught us to believe that education could get us ahead in life and work hard. Life has moments and times that will surprise us. Sometimes it's very unfair situations that happens. Unconditional love can solve a lot of problems on this earth. I try to focus on what is going well in my life each day. Family members are one of the greatest to be thankful for. Life can never be replaced with anything. The cost of human life cannot be placed with a price on it. Because I can face another day, I live to write about my life and find therapy for my soul to heal. The kind of hurt and pain I feel losing my twin sister is unexplainable. Our family and I lost my twin sister in a very tragic way on July 8,2020. We will never get to see her live the next chapter to fight cancer and win. Hate is a very strong dynamic word. If you have been inspired by my writing Please feel free to show your support by taking a look at my website called thevipwatches.com. Feel comfortable just log in and look around.
By MS.Jenkins@the vipwatches5 years ago in Families
