advice
It takes a village to raise a family; advice and tips to make the most of yours.
My Little Blessings
I don't know what it is about children or babies (whichever word helps you imagine a cute little being) that has us adults considering creating these little creatures. Don't get me wrong; I love babies! I mean I should, considering the fact that I have three of them! (Wide eyed emoji). But what is it about them that has us under this spell to keep populating the earth with them? If you really think about it, children are the death of us. Point blank period! We make them, only to be subjected to their every demanding need, 24 hours of the day. I mean that's a job in its self. One that should be paying top dollar! I'm talking about presidential lifestyle. YESSS HONEY!!! I should be living like a queen. Bigger than Queen Elizabeth because I got babies! Yeah that's right. I should be richer than Richie Rich. Why? Because I got babies. Now you see, having these babies is not cheap and man do they take my sanity and turn it into insanity by the end of the day. I'm talking about not being able to shower until 1 PM, because when I'm forcefully woken up at 7 AM in the morning by the two energetic toodlers, I gots to get up and GO GO GO GO. Honey, I'm talking about not being able to brush my teeth because these kids got me running around in the kitchen like I'm on the red team of Hell's Kitchen preparing a meal to just get thrown back in my face because, "it's too cold", "it's not enough" or because they don't want it anymore. And Lord forgive me for wanting my children to just sit down and SHUT UP when 2:00 PM rolls around, because you know that's when momma gotta watch her Maury and Steve Wilkos show. That is if the baby doesn't demand my attention during this time. I mean, like it's not bad enough that right now at this very moment as I am typing, I cannot correct every spelling mistake I have or polish my grammar because these kids are driving me nuts at this very second as I'm trying to put them to sleep. You know what, I am feeling very compelled to start praying right now; here goes...... Lord, I love you. Lord, I thank you for each and every day that I wake up and am able to walk and talk, and just enjoy life. But Lord, I just have one question to ask you...... why in the world didn't you stop the clock when you saw that I was engaging in non-marital relations when my momma told me no? Lord, these children have taken me from 0 to 100 real quick and have caused physical damage to me. Lord, they have taken my once before sexy petite body and turned it, into a size 14 stretch mark, back fat, granny panty, fat armed walking machine. Lord, I used to take pride in how I looked and now my husband's lucky if I even draw on my eyebrows in the morning. Lord, I have learned my lesson. SEX is BAD!!! And I promise to spread the word of the consequences of having children to all the teenagers who are out of their horny adolescent minds. Forgive me for my sins Lord, amen. You know what? I actually feel a lot better now. I love my kids y'all, but I would be lying if I said I wish I had waited a bit longer to have them. I wish I really sat back and thought about the alter life change I would have by not taking the proper precautions when having intercourse. I wish I had really LISTENED to my mother when she told me "your whole life will change, you will change." But here I am and here I stand. A 25-years-old who has three beautiful healthy children, but who had to postpone certain things because she was having kids, when she should have postponed having kids to focus on the important things. Like the old saying goes; "you live and you learn," and boy have I learned. Nevertheless, I am grateful for them, because they have given me a completely new purpose in life and drive that I have never had before I had them. So to all the childless readers out there; really evaluate your life before contemplating about having children, because having children is easy; it's raising them and being able to care for them physically, emotionally, and mentally that's the hard part.
By Shebona fortune-Williams8 years ago in Families
My Father Hated Me
I’ve titled this article “My Father Hated Me” but in fact it was a lot worse than that: the truth is my father despised me and everything about me. As I write this I hope I’m not sounding too much like a victim, and to this day I still wonder if a lot of this is in my head, but then I remember: I know the truth, because this has been my life ever since I was a little girl. For reasons unknown to me, my father has always had an intense dislike of me, and that includes just the sight of me. I often wonder: What do I remind you of; or what was going on when I was a baby that turned you so against me? But, I don’t know the answer.
By Mari-Louise Speirs8 years ago in Families
5 Life Lessons I Learned When I Lost My Father
My father was just 49 when he died at the start of this year; I was 19. My dad had a bad heart condition when he was a child but he hadn’t had any major issues with his heart since his teenage years. The week before my dad passed away he was complaining of not being able to breathe and how he was in an extreme amount of pain, the doctor told him he had a torn muscle, gave him ibuprofen and he left. A few days later my dad died very suddenly due to a heart Aneurysm. That was almost 7 months ago. Everyday is still a struggle for me and there are some days where the mention of his name brings me to a crying state, but most days I try to find positivity in this loss and I have been successful so far.
By Chloe Murphy8 years ago in Families
The Sh*t They Don't Tell You: Lesson 6
Battery Operated Frustration Christmas is just around the corner, my friends, and that means that all sorts of relatives are going to buy all sorts of toys for your youngins. From candy-filled stockings, to the sweaters that Aunt June knitted that they JUST HAVE TO try on, our kids are about to enter into a world of spoil. And yes, this includes what I like to call Battery Operated Frustration AKA those noisy ass toys that won't shut up.
By Tiffany Wade8 years ago in Families
Tips for Breastfeeding
Nursing your baby can be more difficult than you might think, so it can't hurt to pick up some tips for breastfeeding. You're a new parent, so you've got enough to be concerned about already, you shouldn't have to worry that your baby isn't getting enough breast milk on top of it all.
By Amanda Stamper8 years ago in Families
Healing From a Toxic Parent. Top Story - November 2017.
A toxic parent, by definition, is someone whose negative behaviour inflicts emotional damage on a child's sense of self. This negative behaviour can come in many forms (emotional, physical, ect...) but regardless of how the behaviour manifests itself, it can go on to affect a child throughout their entire life.
By The Talented Teapot .8 years ago in Families
The Sh*t They Don't Tell You: Lesson #5
Losing Your Shit. You're standing there, telling yourself that if you hear "Mommy!" one more time today, you're going to explode. You're crying on the bathroom toilet with a Snickers bar hanging halfway out of your mouth, knowing that if you hear one more request to watch that damned Paw Patrol episode, you're going to have yourself a conniption. You're rushing everybody out the door only to find your three-year-old standing in the room butt naked (but at least she has shoes on!) and YOU LOSE YOUR SHIT.
By Tiffany Wade8 years ago in Families
Learning for the Future
A few days had strung together consisting of our three-year-old, Ellis, becoming what I like to refer to as a demon child. For some reason, this demon seems to appear as soon as I get home from work. I understand that it's the end of the day and she is tired, which definitely has a huge control over any kid's behavior. What I began to realize, however, is the way it can control my own behavior. It instantly puts me in a bad mood, frustrated from being at work all day, driving in traffic, excited to see the wife and kids, yet having to now deal with her attitude. It's my own attitude that has led me down the path of spending my evening hours correcting her behavior and putting her on timeouts or threatening that some toy would be taken away. There's no way to reason with a pissed off toddler, no matter how calm you are as a dad, especially when they are just as stubborn and strong-willed as you are.
By Jeffrey Engelage8 years ago in Families
A Life Lesson From a 7 Year Old
It makes me sad when I realize how much we live in such a world of judgement. We as a society are constantly passing judgement on others about so many things, from the way that someone looks to how big their house is or how nice their car is. We judge the way that others make decisions and are so quick to share our opinions when we don't have any idea what has happened in their life to get them to where they are today. The biggest judgement that I have faced is how I parent, and I know that many are in the same boat. So what if my kids don't always match. I have let my girls dress themselves from the age of 2 because I want them to develop their own style and their own personality, not because I am too lazy to make them look like they are ready for a photo shoot. What does it matter if they stay in pajamas all day on a Sunday when we are just laying around watching movies for the day? Who wants to be uncomfortable when they are trying to relax? Yes, my kids brush their hair, but we don't spend our days scrolling Pinterest for 30 minute hair ideas just so that we again look like we are ready for a photo shoot. I have 4 girls. They all have their own personality and they all like different things. Sometimes they care about what they look like and sometimes they don't, and some judge me because of that. There are some moms that really want to spend hours on their kids outfit choices and hair styles, and that is ok. There are some moms that want their kids to earn straight A's in school, but I am ok with a C because I don't base their future only on grades in school, and again, that is okay. I am not saying that they are bad moms, but at the same time, I am also saying that I am not a bad mom either. My house tends to be a mess 90% of the time, but does that make me a bad mom? No. It means that I let my kids have fun and I am ok with clutter. It is who I am as a parent. It is the way that I parent. Yes, I make my kids do their chores and make them earn their cell phones being paid. I make my girls read for 30 minutes every single night during the school year. I punish them when they do wrong. I teach them to be independent. And yes, there are times when I struggle and wonder if I am doing things the right way. But is there a "right way?" I don't know that there is. As long as you are putting a roof over their head, does it matter how much that roof costs? As long as they have food to eat, does it matter that most, if not all, is generic? As long as they have a bed to sleep in, does it matter if they have to share a room? If they have clothes to wear, does it matter if they are from a thrift store rather than brand new and name brand? No. It does not matter at all. So why do we judge ourselves against one another so often? We ALL love our children, but show it in different ways, because we are different. A few months ago is when all of this really came to light for me. I was having a bad day because I had a busy day at work and had listened to others judge the way that I parent for a few days prior. I was cleaning out Reese's book bag and in it was a card that she had made. I opened it and read what was written by my beautiful 7 year old (I will write in correct form as there were spelling errors and I want my readers to understand). "I am sorry but you have been mean a couple days. I still like you, but you need to treat others the way that you want to be treated. Love you, Reese." I must have read this card 100 times. My 7 year old daughter made a card for her friend after an argument. Not only did she make her a card, but she is sharing a lesson with this friend and still says that she loves her at the end, even when this little girl was mean to her. THIS card is how I knew deep down, I am doing something right as a mother. It doesn't matter what other moms say or what outsiders think. In my mind, all moms have good days and they have bad days. The best thing that we can do is support each other and show love for one another because believe it or not, we are all on the same journey!
By Brandi Nicole8 years ago in Families
Be Glad You Still Have One
Child loss is a topic that too many parents have been forced to experience, whether it be through miscarriage, birthing complications, or a terrible childhood tragedy. However, one aspect of this that is rarely discussed is the loss of a twin. I am a mother of identical twin girls. One just so happens to be an angel. My pregnancy was far from the ordinary that occurred through unplanned circumstances. I was labeled high risk right off the bat simply for being pregnant with twins. Then hypertension was added on around my tenth week. Regardless of my health situation, I was still so excited to welcome two new lives into the world... only to have one of them taken from me days later.
By Gloria Fracasse8 years ago in Families
