AROUSAL
Arousal
I woke up today aroused sexually as I stood out of bed pushing down my erection. Visualizing past sexual experiences involuntarily, unbalanced, standing, wiping the crust from my eyes, stumbling slow to the bathroom opposite of my bedroom, I began to feel anger as I became aware of the pulsating ache in my penis I often feel in the morning β it usually goes away upon a splash of water on my face, a look in the mirror and urination. The skin on my penis was tight and dry, accompanied by unusual pressure and stiffness. Tension and stress began to arise, because I had to think about whether to masturbate or not. I had a choice to make β ejaculate and give this semen energy away meaninglessly, or keep my seminal fluid inside. As Iβve aged Iβve built a tolerance for the hormonal spikes and love the tension of keeping my semen, but today Iβm weak. I want to feel the immense pleasure of sex, I want to feel the overwhelming sensation of ejaculation. Standing over the toilet pissing, anxiety filled with sexual energy led me to a deeper thoughtβ¦βI want a female.β Iβm hungry for closeness with a woman and have become involuntarily celibate. Itβs been two years since Iβve had physical contact with a female, the last time I was able to insert myself inside of a woman. I know why, but it doesnβt stop the growling of my stomach, thinking about the emptiness of how good it feels to be with a female that wants you, wants to touch you, hug you, cuddle, kiss and, most of all, sex. I couldnβt help but be mad β why do these thoughts of woman and sex dominate my mind so much. I canβt help it today. I want to go back to a day when I was disciplined and not distracted with these thoughts, or at least fight them out of my mind. On top of that, the huge pressure of being a man is hard enough, let alone dating. I hate that I want a female mate for companionship, erogenous satisfaction, and emotional security. I remember in the old days they say βlove donβt cost a thingβ β well, in todayβs society you have to pay for love. Everything that is good about love and relationships feels like itβs bad. Money and resources are the new currency for sex, not attractiveness or character. Slowly walking back to my room I had another thought β Iβm going to get a substantial sum of money because Iβm tired of being aroused with no woman to express with. Instead I will use this energy to change my life, to add substance to my life. Keep your semen and become, release to become none. Today is what I was thinkingβ¦ sometimes a good trouble, others destructive β just another irrefutable, biological need to be fulfilled, but no β I will retain my seed in avoidance of emasculation, the power emotion.
Comments (25)
Perfect message. Great writing
Write the fight, we have been doing a lot of that...right. GReat double win.
I agree! Say it loud and proud with no fear. Everyone has their own insights and opinions.
π€ Perfect message. Learning slowly. Albeit with a bit of dutch π€ Congrats on TS. Thought I'd commented. Evidently not x
Just Speak! man! Nice job - love it!
I liked the rhythm of this, Paul as well as the message. We should all use our voices, for sure. Even when they're gravelly post-Covid ones. Congrats on TS too!
Very inspirational and very well written piece
Ooh, that rhyme! It really brings it home and I love its power at the end. Fantastic message. I'm inclined to believe people leave behind their cumulative impact, words, actions, support, and personalities, all combined. However as a writer, I can't say I disagree with our words having the ability to outlive us in profound ways, and that we need to nurture that reality and use our toolset to the utmost degree. Otherwise, what is the point?
Nice work. I like the way you use your voice.
Excellent effort! Keep up the superb workβcongrats!s
I love how empowering this feels! I am pumped and ready to do some writing (fighting) today!! Great work Paul and congrats on Top Story!!
Back to say congrats friend
Just yes. Say it all before you're dead. I love this so much! I've made it a practice to think about the fact that someday I'll be dead. It really helps me overcome a lot of fear and just do the damn things, live in the moment, say the words, speak love without holding back, and publish even when the doubt monkeys start screaming (don't ask what a doubt monkey is, my fingers just typed it before my brain could catch up) Great piece, Paul! Congrats on the top!
Yes! Spit it out, indeed. Well said. Congrats on the TS
Um, Congratulations, sir! This defintely deserves the honor.
A good reminder after being absolutely washed in the Vocal Writing Awards. Like, not even a single shortlisting? Come on! Ah, well. Time to get my Arid Challenge entry ready to go even though that challenge has the least number of placements since they introduced Runners Up. Yep, no doubts here at all. #BoycottNewYorkTimes
Preach! Clearing my throat chakras as we Speak! π ππ
I WANNA USE MY VOICE FOR EVILLLLL!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Imagine if I can kill someone with my voice. How awesome would that be? Well, a girl can dream, can't she? Lol. Loved your poem! π©π₯
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Rather lyrical...and a great title!
I think almost everyone needs their as their mantra
π
Well, I was going to say something sarcastic, but then I thought, "What if we're building the digitial library for future humans, or aliens, or..." Never mind. I'll think of something sarcastic. Seriously, though, this is some good food for thought.
But what's that Maya Angelou quote? Is it even Maya Angelou? Hang on....
Always a good idea β€οΈβ€οΈ