Guardian Angels Chapter 5

Kalin leaned her head against the stone wall, letting it soothe her aching head. In the week since she’d bonded with Akarisa, she’d had splitting migraines on and off for what seemed like every day.

You’re trying to take in thousands of years of history, personal experience, memory, and emotion, all at once. Slow down.

And yet, I’m becoming aware through your mind, of the danger we all will be in if anyone finds out about us. Or if, say, any of these high ranking families among your people get it in their heads to start a war with the race your history says condemned you—and humanity?—to exile from contact with the rest of the universe. Am I getting this right?

They’re less likely to find out if you slow down and take better care of yourself.

Kalin huffed. Akarisa did have a point, though.

How am I gonna pass my finals with us barely getting to sleep?

I’ve been alive long enough to know collegiate math.

Isn’t that cheating?

The original point of the majine was for Ayniel to help their human counterparts with the things they struggled with, and the humans would help the Ayniel with whatever they struggled with. It’s about balancing out each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Your weakness is apparently math.

And yours?

Kalin could feel the weight behind Akarisa’s sigh. Too many to count, and none you need to worry about right now.

Kalin tried to shrug off the crushing insecurity as her eyes stung. All that about supporting each other, huh.

Another weighted breath. I struggle with breaking rules. Even when it’s for the best. Despite my long years of practice, I’m constantly afraid I won’t live up to the expectations of my people as I take over my father’s position. And right now, I’m most afraid of being unable to protect you from the consequences of my thoughtless actions. I should have paid more attention before jumping in that lake. I could have used what you refer to as my ‘magic’ to get you out, and you wouldn’t be involved in this mess.

Kalin took a few minutes to turn that over in her mind. I don’t regret this...bond.

I don’t regret it...exactly. I am afraid of what will happen if we fail. But I do appreciate your fresh perspective on the world.

Kalin laughed outright. If my random mental wanderings are what you call a fresh perspective I’m not sure how to help you.

Just...continue being yourself.

Just one conversation was never going to be enough to assuage Kalin’s growing sense of inferiority, as she was exposed to more and more of Akarisa’s past and abilities. It was embarrassing not being able to hide it. Kalin forced herself to take another deep breath, opening her eyes and looking around. Not many students spent any more time than absolutely necessary outside at this time of year, so the courtyard was bare.

Kalin straightened up and carried on towards the massive glass-sided library. A stop in the downstairs coffee shop seemed in order, and then Brianna, Max, Aedan, and Anna were waiting for her.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Aedan asked, rubbing Kalin’s back. “You’ve been distracted all week.”

“Yeah. I’m just really worried about my scholarship.” Kalin forced a smile, reluctantly meeting his eyes.

“You’re always worried but you’ve always passed everything! Just three more finals to go!” Brianna said, meaning it in an encouraging way, but Kalin’s stomach sank.

I don’t usually have someone else in my head.

Thankfully giving exams is easier than taking them. I won’t be particularly distracting. And technically, me helping wouldn’t have been considered cheating during the time majine were commonplace.

It would be considered cheating now, though.

You can be quite stubborn, you know.

I’m sure you can, too.

Kalin could tell Akarisa was smiling. Well I guess it will be interesting to see who wins out then.

Kalin sighed. I don’t doubt it’ll be you.

Akarisa’s smile faded, and Kalin relaxed. Keeping her expressions neutral around others while Akarisa could react freely was not her strong suit.

Don’t write yourself off too easily. Majine weren’t formed because humans were too weak to survive on their own...they were formed to balance our different skill sets.

What can I do that you can’t?

You’re creative. You can dream, you believe in a better future. And that’s just what I’ve learned in one week. You’re resilient. I could go on. But you need to study, and I need to sleep. One day, you’ll see. Just...don’t do anything stupid trying to prove anything.

I’m not gonna get us killed.

Good luck with your studies.

Kalin’s mouth twitched unhappily. Sleep well.

“Need a hand?” Max asked, looking up from where he sat with Brianna, poring over his laptop.

“Give me a few minutes to try it on my own.” Kalin sighed.

“I’ll check back in five, then.” Max gave her an encouraging smile, and she returned it with a tired one.

“Thanks.”

“Anybody want to get dinner?” Brianna asked as the group left the library.

“Dinner and painkillers?” Kalin mumbled, rubbing her forehead. Akarisa wasn’t sleeping peacfully.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Aedan whispered. Kalin just nodded.

“I’m fine.” She mumbled.

“I’m down to get something to eat.” Max wrapped his arm around Brianna’s shoulders. They were looking at Kalin with concern.

“Sure. Maybe food will help me forget those word problems.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of alcohol.” Anna joked.

Kalin shook her head. “I’ll be fine. Let’s just go.” She could still feel the weight of her friends’ gazes on her, but chose to ignore them. She didn’t have any answers she could give, anyway.

“What did you find last weekend?” Aedan asked as the others discussed their final schedules a few feet behind them. This wasn’t the first time he’d asked that question.

“I didn’t find anything.” Kalin insisted. “I got lost and must’ve bumped my head.”

“You should get that checked out.” Aedan repeated, like a broken record.

“I’m fine.” Kalin knew he was just worried, and felt bad for snapping at him, but she really needed him to leave this alone. What could she possibly say as an excuse? Sorry I magically melded my mind to a superhuman powered being and my consciousness can’t take it? It was an accident, really, I swear? Would he consider this worse than cheating?

He must have seen some of her anxiety in her face, because he took her hand and pulled her against his side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’m just trying to help.” he mumbled, kissing her hair. His voice sounded sad.

Kalin tilted her head back to look up at him. “If it gets too much worse, I’ll see someone.” she promised, feeling guilty. But she didn’t know what else she could possibly do. She couldn’t actually see a doctor—she’d get locked up in an institution.

Instead she walked beside Aedan in silence the rest of the way. She could feel Akarisa stirring in the back of her head. The Ayniel had taken to harassing her into eating better via telepathy. Kalin rolled her eyes, already anticipating the lecture.

It wouldn’t kill you to eat something that makes you happy every so often. Just try to maintain balance.

Thanks for your wisdom. Kalin immediately winced, feeling shame wash over her at the unintended barb of sarcasm behind her words.

One little sting won’t break me. It’s actually reassuring to see some fight in you. Just don’t make a habit of using me as your punching bag.

I’ll do my best.

Focus on your friends. They deserve your attention, too.

It’s a bit difficult when I’m hyper aware of every single thing you do and think.

It takes practice.

The thought had Kalin’s appetite evaporating.

And remember to eat. They’re worrying because they can see you sinking away from them and they’re trying to throw you a lifeline. Take it.

Kalin looked around at her friends, chatting and laughing. Brianna caught her eye and stepped closer to give Kalin’s hand a squeeze. Kalin smiled at her and squeezed back. “Let’s eat.” she said, dragging her friend over to the buffet.

“So, did you hear back about that internship?” Brianna asked excitedly.

Anna shook her head. “Not yet. At this point, I’m expecting to have to wait until after the new year.”

Kalin grimaced in sympathy. “That sucks.”

Anna shrugged. “At least I still have a chance.” The young adults seated around the table all nodded somberly in agreement.

“Well, we still have some time left before we get tossed out into the job hunting mess.” Max offered. “Let’s make the most of it.”

“Everybody passes their finals!” Brianna cheered, raising her glass of water in a toast.

Kalin smiled, raising her own glass, and the others followed suit, with some giggling.

“To passing our finals!” They said in unison, taking a drink of whatever they had in their cups.

Kalin tilted her head back and took in a breath of icy winter air, ignoring the pain in her throat and lungs as it stung. She held it for a second before releasing it slowly. Almost done. Just one more exam to go. Akarisa had stayed true to her word, staying up during the day to help Kalin with her exams. As much as Kalin felt uneasy about the ethics of it—no one else had a historical being whispering answers into their mind—she was desperate to keep her scholarship to stay in school. There was no way she’d be able to afford a degree if she failed out, and her future prospects looked as bleak as the sky above if she didn’t get a degree.

We’ve got this. Stop worrying and start walking. You’re only going to fail if you miss the exam entirely.

She was right, of course, so Kalin looked back at the concrete walkway in front of her and set a brisk pace, hunching her shoulders under her several layers of thick, warm sweaters and coats.

Nope, that’s wrong.

I’m sure it’s right.

It’s a trick question. Read it again.

Kalin scrunched up her face, reading the question three more times. If Person A is driving at x speed...half the words in this problem don’t even matter!

That’s why it’s a trick question. The answer is 100km. I can explain it to you later.

I have to show my work.

Write this down. Kalin swallowed as her vision tilted and blurred, with the work for the problem being superimposed over her paper. She swallowed her nausea and copied it down as quickly as she could, scribbling “100km” as her answer before flipping to the next page, which, thankfully, was a type of problem she was much better at.

Fifteen minutes. It did help not needing to look at the clock to tell time. Kalin flew through the last three problems.

I might have done them differently, but your answers are correct, and your work is clear enough I think you’ll get your points for it.

“Time!”

Cutting it a little close. Kalin dropped her pencil in her bag and stood to turn in her paper on her way out the door.

All that matters is that we got it done. You deserve to celebrate.

I feel like the only reason I passed is you.

She could feel Akarisa’s irritated huff. Think of it this way...if it wasn’t for me and the majine, you would have been in much better shape to study over the last several weeks. I’m just making up for what you lost out on because of me. Now go celebrate, your friends are waiting.

Kalin rolled that around in her mind before nodding. That...makes sense. Thanks. Good luck with your last exams!

Akarisa laughed. At least I’m not taking the exams. Go on.

Kalin refocused on the cluster of familiar shapes huddled together next to a decorative set of trees. She lifted her hand in a wave, picking up her pace despite the wind slamming against her side as she crossed the open path between the math and science buildings.

Brianna led the cheering as the cluster moved to embrace her.

“And that’s the last of your gen eds! You don’t need to take another math or science class if you don’t want to!”

Kalin laughed. “Provided I passed, yeah.”

You passed.

We will see. Grades don’t come out til end of this week at the earliest, next week at the latest.

So stop worrying about it. Have fun tonight.

If I’m drinking tonight, that won’t affect you?

I can handle more than a few human drinks. Besides, it might be just enough to help pass the time.

Very funny.

“Cheers!” Aedan raised his glass to Kalin’s. “To the end of exam week! Only three semesters to go!”

“For some of us.” Anna muttered.

“You’re the one who decided to go into a field with more requirements.” Max shrugged.

Anna made a face across the table.

“It’s a riskier gamble, but I hope it pays off for you.” Brianna said sincerely, clinking her glass to Anna’s.

“It better. I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t.”

“You’ll figure it out. I’m not sure whose gamble is riskier though, yours or Kalin’s.”

“Hey, now. I’m supposed to be forgetting about that tonight, thank you very much.” Kalin said, draining her glass. Akarisa’s voice in her mind had gone quiet a few hours ago. “Another round?”

“On your dime?” Anna asked with a raised eyebrow. Kalin winced.

“On mine.” Aedan said, standing and patting Kalin on the back. She turned and caught his cheeks in her hands, giving him a kiss.

“Thank you.” she whispered before releasing him.

“Get a room.” Anna muttered. Kalin felt a rush of gratitude when most of their friends around the table threw her dirty looks.

“Maybe if you could be bothered to give anyone the time of day, you wouldn’t be so alone.” Brianna snapped, picking up her glass. “C’mon Max.”

Max shook his head, but obliged, picking up his glass and Kalin’s before following his partner.

“Here,” he said, handing Kalin her drink. “Sorry about Anna. She’s been a bit out of sorts for a while now. We didn’t want to bother you about it, with you studying and all.”

“What happened?” Kalin asked, trading her empty glass for the full one Aedan held out for her.

“I don’t know the whole story,” Max hesitated, sharing a look with Aedan.

“It’s...things we’ve all noticed with her, one on one, but...she’s usually pretty normal, if a bit quiet, in group settings.” Brianna said, glancing over to where Anna sat at the table where they’d left her, glaring at the table before her.

“She went out with this dude a couple of times since September. At first it was alright, I mean, she seemed happy.” Aedan murmured. Kalin nodded.

“I remember. She brought him around once or twice at the beginning. When she stopped bringing him around, she seemed real upset, so I assumed they’d broken up. She usually needs her space for a bit. I guess I got caught up in exams and...never checked in.” Kalin rubbed her head in embarrassment. “Maybe if I had...”

Brianna and Aedan were already shaking their heads. Max gave her a weak smile.

“Honestly, she went really deep really fast.” Max said. He hesitated before adding, “Are you sure you don’t want to try to switch dorms for next semester? I’m sure Brianna would rather room with you than Julia.”

Kalin exchanged a look with Brianna. “I’d actually love to, but wasn’t the deadline a while ago?”

“There’s always a way to slide through. Especially with...some of the things Anna’s said and done recently.” Brianna said awkwardly.

Kalin gave her friends a strange look. “I admit I’ve been distracted, but...”

All three of them exchanged an uncomfortable look, before Aedan pulled out his phone.

“I didn’t want to tell you during exams. I know how important this week was for you.” he started, unlocking his phone screen. “I blocked her after this, but I...wanted you to see it from me.”

Kalin took his phone. It was a conversation between him and a blocked number she recognized as Anna’s. She skimmed the conversation quickly, her expression growing dark.

She’s not paying you any attention recently...don’t you feel a need to blow off some steam? I won’t tell ;)

Kalin didn’t realized how hard she was squeezing the phone in her hand until Brianna gently pried it away. “I think that’s enough.” she said quietly. “She’s said some things in person as well, to each of us. I don’t know what kind of people she got mixed up with or what happened, but...none of us are comfortable around her anymore. We just didn’t want to do this during finals, and she was already there when we went to pick you up after your exam.” Brianna’s lips twisted in a grimace.

Kalin sucked in air through her nose, trying to stifle the explosion in her chest.

Easy. If you swing, swing at something out of sight of security cameras and something that’s sturdy and not alive.

I’m not gonna swing. Kalin squeezed her eyes shut. I want to be better than that.

That’s good. Hold on to that. And maybe find somewhere else to live, not with this purtchis.

Kalin let out a short laugh. I’ll try to figure something out. She opened her phone to draft a message to Deirdre, the resident assistant for her floor.

Don’t send that until your head cools down. Grab a bag and maybe stay with Aedan tonight. You should actually go pack that bag before Anna gets back.

I will. To both suggestions.

Kalin locked her phone and looked at Aedan. “Can I stay with you, at least tonight?” He nodded immediately.

“Of course. Want me to walk you back to pack a bag?”

“We should all go.” Brianna suggested. Max nodded at her side.

“We can hang out for a few hours and relax some.” he glanced at Aedan. “As long as you and your roomie don’t mind.”

“He had plans tonight anyway, so no worries there.” Aedan wrapped an arm around Kalin’s shoulders, bringing her close to his chest as he kissed the top of her head. “You sure you’re okay?” he whispered, his voice tense.

“I will be.” Kalin lifted her chin to look up at him. “Thanks for telling me.”

They finished their drinks and paid the bill. Kalin glanced at the table they had been seated at, but Anna was gone, leaving her empty glass.